Hi Audrey, 

Here's your weekly email of things I'm reading, listening to, thinking about, buying, or just plain paying attention to. I hope you get something out of this, but if you don't and you decide to unsubscribe, I'll buy you a coffee for wasting your time.

Yep, I'm serious, just unsubscribe and I'll send you a gift card for a free coffee. 

Oh yeah, and don't forget to CLICK THE LINKS...there's some cool stuff behind those lovely bold red words!

Most Popular FB Post This Week — Be A Nerd

Here’s the thing about nerds…I think they’re (we're?) awesome.  Over the years they've gotten a pretty bad rap, but recently the concept of being a "nerd" is gaining positive traction. This week, I got to “nerding out” on something and realized that the very notion of “nerding out” made me happy. I think I’ll try harder to "nerd out" about things as it seems to make me happy. 

Here's the post from Facebook about that. 

Sorry, You're Actually Not Special

Nope. You're not. Sure, some parts of you are special, but the very fact that you have parts about you that are special makes you very...ordinary.

In 2012, David McCullough addressed the graduating class of Wellesley High with a speech that has now been viewed millions of times on YouTube and turned into a best-selling book by telling them that they weren't special. It's a great speech, you can watch it here. 

Here's the deal, in my work with clients I often find that one of the things that hold them back the most is the fact they think that they are so different from anyone else. Therefore, what works for everyone else won't work for them.  

So they struggle, often needlessly, because of their stubbornness that their situation is so different than everyone else's. Their circumstances direr, their situations more unique.

And maybe there are elements of their situation that are specific to them, but most similar situations can be solved with similar solutions. 

So, remember, you're not special, which means your problems aren't special, which means that there is likely a simple solution to whatever situation you've found yourself in.  Start with that solution. More than likely you'll get 80-percent of the way there, and then you can apply your "specialness" to the remaining 20-percent.

That Thing That Pisses You Off When Other People Say It — Lean Into It

You know when you get REALLY REALLY mad at someone for pointing out one of your failures or criticizing what you're up to, or generally saying something that you just don't like? Next time, instead of getting really mad at them, defending your position, or attacking them back, I'd like to urge you to try and find the TRUTH in what they are saying. I mean really LEAN INTO it...  

This article from author Joseph Grenny has a few things to say about why leaning into the truth in criticism can create a new sense of safety and worth.  

"Most of us crave approval and fear the truth. Critical feedback feels traumatic because it threatens two of our most fundamental psychological needs: safety (perceived physical, social, or material security) and worth (a sense of self-respect, self-regard, or self-confidence)."

When we can detach from these threats via handling them with some sense of rationality and truth-seeking, the criticism becomes constructive whether or not the delivery was malicious or not. 

Finding truth in criticism and leaning into that truth creates personal power and neutralizes the negative impact of the criticism. 

What A Rocket Scientist Thinks About Safety Nets

My friend and fellow coach, Andrew Petty turned me on to Ozan Varol a while back. I picked up his book, "Think Like a Rocket Scientist" a couple of months ago (highly recommend), and I now get his weekly emails. 

Today Varol's blog post titled, "Your Safety Net is a Straitjacket" came through and I just loved it. Here's the quote that stuck with me: 

“A safety net that’s there to catch you can also restrain you. It can make you believe that you’re safe only above the net. Play only over here, not over there. Stop taking healthy risks and avoid new leaps the net can’t support.” 

You can read the whole article here.

Thanks for reading!

Have feedback to share with me? Which above was your favorite? Want more or less of something? Have other suggestions? 

Send a reply to this email and let me know. I'm always open to new ideas if you have something cool or interesting that you think I should know and/or write about in the next, Black Coffee Friday. 

That's it for now... talk soon!

Chad